Long distance relationships are not easy. In fact, they’re so difficult that people have created websites (they’re too numerous to count!) dedicated to the nature of long-distance relationships and how to ‘survive’ them. Wikipedia even provides users with a definition – as if we need that! Oh, sorry, perhaps we do…in which case…à la Wikipedia:
“A long-distance relationship is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance.”
When people find out I’m in a LDR (yes, it even has it’s own acronym!), the first reaction is an enormous widening of their eyes, jaw-drop, and then the following words, “How do you do that!?” to which I reply – without the enormously wide eyes or jaw-drop – “It’s not easy, but it can be simple.”
No matter what all the websites say though, let me mention the two main things that will make or break it – (a) whether or not Christ is the centre of the relationship, and (b) the sincerity of your love for one another.
Did I ever think I’d be the perfect candidate for a long-distance relationship…not in a million years! Why not? Because I’m a physical person – I want to know that after a particularly bad day at the office, I can walk up to my boyfriend*, grab a hold of his hand, and be assured of his physical presence in my life…or sit on the couch and talk about arbitrary stuff till the wee hours of the morning…or simply see his smile and feel his embrace…or give him a death-stare when I have to wash the dishes after he’s cooked a meal and used all the pots in the kitchen.
But my relationship with GH has turned that theory completely on its head – granted, I’m still a physical person – but I’ve learned that because we’re both determined to keep Christ at the centre of our relationship and because of the sincerity of our love for one another, it’s possible for me to be on one side of the world and him on the other. Does it suck – yes of course – but you can make it work; and we’re making it work! (There are also lots of practical things you can do to maintain a long-distance relationship…like play online games – which actually doesn’t always go down well with me because I lose all the time and then react like a brat by saying *whiny voice* “I don’t want to play anymore!”).
Of course I miss him like crazy – so much so that I’d have no problem becoming an illegal immigrant and hiding for the rest of my life just so that I can wash his dishes…I mean, hold his hand…! But this is a test for us, and the foundation being developed through this is amazing and will stand us in good stead as we share our future together.
“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.”
(* Said boyfriend shall be referred to as ‘GH’ – Guitar Hero. Why, because he’s a kickass rocker! Which makes me his number 1 groupie 🙂 )