Of Love and Music

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Music has always been something very personal and emotional for me – it’s not just a bunch of random notes and melodies strung together with arbitrary lyrics. No, music really does touch my soul – this is something I guess I share with my father who seems to feel exactly that same way about it.

A few months ago, however, I couldn’t listen to music – if I did, it made my mood plummet into the ground at 120 km’s/hour. Odd, I know, but it’s really because it affects me in a big way and I was at a point in my life where I felt stuck – I couldn’t see any purpose in my working at the company I was in; I had lost any hope of finding someone to love, and someone who’d love me back; and every day just seemed to mundane.

When GH came onto the scene, however, that all changed. I remember saying to him one day (during one of the many chats we had through Facebook before I went to Berlin) that he made me want to listen to music! It awakened that part of my again and it felt so good. In the months preceding my visit to Berlin I listened to all the music that stirred up so many emotions for me – and it made me feel good! The one song in particular that reminded me of him constantly (and which I played to death!) was “Wash” by Lifehouse:

Wash

Never meant to waste your time
never meant to fall out of line
I was trying to get closer to you
Now it seems with every step
feels like I’m losing my breath
I don’t know what else I can do

but you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you wash over me
you wash over me like sunshine

I never had to choose
living a life with you
or chasing lies only half true
when our love would be
a world alone with you and me
than hiding behind these walls

when you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you wash over me
you wash over me like sunshine
and you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you fall over me
you crawl over me
like sunshine
like sunshine

Everything in the world was falling through
all I knew was it led to you
my sunshine
all my life never found my place
until I felt the sunlight on my face
my sunshine

Never meant to waste your time
never meant to fall out of line
I was trying to get closer to you
Now it seems with every step
feels like I’m losing my breath
I don’t know what else I can do

but you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you wash over me
you wash over me like sunshine
and you wash over me
you wash over me like rain
and you fall into me
you crawl into me
like sunshine
like sunshine
like sunshine
like sunshine

When I left Berlin (ok yes, I cried…), Lifehouse’s “Out of Breath” seemed to appropriate:

Out of Breath

I still feel the same
though everything has changed
the pain it cost now
I feel lost inside of my own name

but I keep running
I am running
I keep living for the day that I’m with you
that I’m with you

the past has left its stain
now I feel the shame
I’ll seize the day
if you take away
the chains of yesterday

but I keep running
I am running
I keep living for the day that I’m with you
and I am waiting
I am waiting
I keep waiting for the day that I’m with you

a new day
the sun is shining
seems I’m closer to finding
that life is more than where we are
no way that I am turning
as long as the sun is burning
now it seems that all I want is you

I still feel the same
though everything has changed
the pain it cost now
I feel lost inside of my own name

but I keep running
I am running
I keep living for the day that I’m with you
an I am waiting
I am waiting
I keep waiting for the day that I’m with you
that I’m with you

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