Dim light at the end of the tunnel


It’s Monday morning…I’m not a fan of Monday mornings. In fact, I think Monday’s should be banned – they’re just the 1 day out of 7 that I do not look forward to. Monday mornings should be spent sleeping and then waking up at a reasonable hour, like 11am – yes, that’s what Mondays should be like. I don’t know who decided a working week should be made up of 5 days and I don’t know why they decided that it should start on a Monday – but that person must’ve been pretty influential…and stupid.

So I got some good news – if you can call it that – yesterday. When I’d originally sent off a gazzilion emails to various language schools in Berlin attaching my CV, I got one reply in particular that at first made me sigh. The reply I got said “Are you in Berlin? If so, give me a call.” Argh – I had to reply and say sorry, I’m not in Berlin – and I never heard anything back. But then on Friday I decided to contact the dudie again and say that I’m planning to be in Berlin in March 2011, and would he like me to contact him then about any employment opportunities? When I sent the email I really thought I was clutching at straws – but he replied yesterday saying, “Yes, please do.” 🙂 So there’s a little glimmer of hope, and it puts a smile on my face – which is something I need these days!

Ideally I’d have liked to secure a job that would mean I wouldn’t have to go over in March on a tourist Visa, because that would be so much easier – and granted, that could still happen – buuuuuuttttt…it just seems as if at the moment “Plan B – March” is more realistic. (Although my friend La would disagree, and she’s probably shaking her head right now as she reads this…! :D)

I’m a little apprehensive of all I’d need to plan prior to going over in March – and the parentals have already said they want to discuss it with me, which makes me freak out a little. I’m not sure what it is they’ll want to discuss and all it will do is highlight all the things I have to do and worry about – all I want really, is support from everyone – sure, I know there are certain risks and things I have to think about – but to be honest…I know that – after all, I’m in the centre of all this! GH and I have decided that March has to happen if I don’t get anything, so the decision is already made and the more people ‘uhm’ and ‘ah’ about it, the more it shakes my resilience and confidence. Blegh! Oh well, it’s just about me and GH anyway, no matter what other says. That’s what I need to remember – before this point in my life, I always made decisions for other people; considered their opinions; considered what they think and feel – most times at the risk of forgetting what my own opinions and feelings are – but for once, I have to simply say, “Thank you for your opinion, I’m glad you can think for yourself, but I’ve made this decision and I don’t plan to change it. Sorry for yooooooou!”

I guess this hasn’t only been a test for me, but also an indicator for me of real friendships and real relationships – peoples’ opinions tell a lot about them and their level of support speaks volumes.

Ah this post is far too long and would probably be rated as one of the most boring ones I’ve ever written – apologies. I’ll return to listening to Dido, sipping on my coffee and working…


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