I’ve been a bit quiet of late, which is probably due to the fact that I’ve gone through (possibly) one of the most trying weeks of my life! I have, however, come out on the other side alive – though slightly bruised. But hey, no-one said life was easy, right?
What I’ve noticed about myself though is how easily I allow doubt and fear to return to my mind when I take a knock. At one stage I was getting really good at standing up to these things, but I guess now and then one has to crumble – it’s inevitable, right?
I’m not sure where I’d be though without the unfailing and continued love and support from my family and friends. I just cannot imagine how people must feel when they’re going through a difficult patch and they just don’t have any support system in place.
I’m still trusting God to work things out for me when I take the plunge and head over to Berlin to try make things work. Like I’m constantly reminded – surely He’d not have gotten me this far, only to rip the rug from underneath my feet? My human mind – with all its nonsense and insecurities – annoys me. I’ve really been getting good at putting myself in my place; being stern; and simply just trusting – so I really don’t want to remain in this state of worry and fear for long.
I’m even more in love with GH – and with that comes insecurities. It’s been a wonderful experience – finding that one person who you just love unconditionally – but it’s also been scary, because you start to realise what it means to love someone, and how it would hurt if they weren’t with you anymore.
Oh well – faith. That’s all it comes down to, right? Faith.