Monthly Archives: February 2011

Building bridges

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I have this annoying ability to sometimes let things get me down, or to fret about things that I really shouldn’t be fretting about. I know that the source of this, most of the time, is fear – fear of the unknown, the known, the future, the past…everything, even fear of fear itself.

So what is fear then?

Here are some definitions:

– be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event;

– an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight);

– be uneasy or apprehensive about;

– Fear is an American punk band from Los Angeles, California.

At times I think it’s ok – because it forces me to take action – to plan ahead and avoid possible hurt or disappointment. But most of the time, it simply just takes away from me and adds nothing. In no way does it enrich my life, make it fuller, make it more abundant. Instead, it saps from me every last iota of energy I have, every last bit of hope and resilience.

At work the other day, someone stopped me in the kitchen and asked what’s wrong. I was a little surprised and queried why he was asking me this. “Because I can see something weighing down on you. It’s heavy; it’s pulling you down. You’re not smiling today.” So I told him that I was just a little concerned about a few things…there were a few things that I was fearing about the (unknown) future. His response has stuck with me – and it’s something I repeat to myself when I feel fear creep up on me:

“Why are you even going there…only cross those bridges when you get to them…if you get to them.”

I’ve been crossing bridges that don’t exist. I’ve been building them on non-existent foundations.

There’s a saying that we’ve probably all heard…”How do you eat an elephant…one bite at a time.” Learning to take life one step at a time isn’t easy. As humans we’re kind of forced into planning ahead – planning for those ‘in case’ situations. I’m not advocating throwing all caution to the wind and being totally irresponsible – but the key is to plan with wisdom – Godly wisdom.

One of the reminders I received this morning was the following:

Verse:            Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace!

– Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything.
– In every situation and circumstance, turn to God in prayer.
– Ask God for what you need, with a thankful heart.
– And His peace will guard your heart and mind.

PRAYER: Lord, as I face this new week with all its challenges and opportunities, I place my requests before You and I ask You to fill me with Your peace. Amen.

Stop building bridges that weren’t meant to exist.

Monday morning

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I’m sitting at my desk drinking my first cup of coffee and wondering why on earth I’m up and already type-type-typing away at my computer. How nice it would be to be in the loving embrace of my duvet right now – in Dreamland, somewhere between an island off the African coast and sipping coffee along the French Riviera.

But I’m at my desk – which does not resemble the French Riviera – and I’m sipping coffee that ‘s great, but probably could be better.

I think this past weekend was a good weekend – for many reasons…:

  • It was my dad’s 66th birthday on Saturday and my mother, my dad and I celebrated it by consuming 1kg of (yummy) prawns (each..).

  • Worship at Hillsong was phenomenal and so was the sermon – all about God’s vision for your life and how you shouldn’t give up on it when that nagging voice in the back of your mind tells you, “You can’t do it.” (My response to the nagging voice, “Whatever…I can, so shut up.”)

  • I spent almost 3 hours practicing German on Saturday and was very pleased with my progress – and I’m really enjoying it, which takes the pressure off it a bit. (It’s not always good to be a perfectionist…) Yes, granted, it may seem a little funny because I don’t really have anyone to practice with – so I have to walk around the house speaking the language to the fridge, microwave or anything else that will listen to me.

  • I got to spend time with my parents – it’s been lovely being able to chill with them, talk with them, laugh with them.

  • I got to speak to GH a couple of times and we shared a few laughs. This is always a highlight for me. Why? Because long distance SUCKETH! This morning he surprised me by sending me a text message at 6.30am – just to say he loves me and misses me. Now I’m sure you’re thinking…ok that’s nice, whatever. But the thing is, GH loves his sleep and 6.30am in South Africa is 5.30am in Germany – so for someone who loves his sleep and wakes up at 5.30am…and then text’s his girlfriend – it’s an ‘Awwwwww’ kinda thing! 🙂

How not to be disappointed

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I have come to the conclusion that there are two parts of the day that I really don’t like.

(1) The first part of the day that I don’t like is that precise moment when I hear my alarm clock go off. It starts off all “gently-like” and then gets louder – and it’s that initial, “gentle” sound that makes me want to kick and scream in my bed as if I’m having a spasm.

(2) The second part of the day that I don’t like is that point at which you realise that you’re about to take the last bite of something you’re really enjoying eating – whether it be breakfast, lunch, supper or a snack.

Why, oh why, do these two things have to happen to me every day? 😦 I reckon there are two solutions:

(1) Just don’t wake up. If you’re late for work, just explain the situation to your boss – he/she will simply just have to understand. There is more to life than waking up in time for work, ok! (Right…?)

(2) Only eat food you don’t like, or food that tastes really yucky. Yes, it’s that simple. That way, you won’t have to endure taking the last bite and staring at your empty plate thinking, “Awww, that was quick. I want more.” 😦

My morning call

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08:24 – call from Dad:

Me: “Ja, hello…”

Dad: “Congratulations hey!”

Me: “Huh?”  [I’m thinking this feels like when I was back in school/college and was being praised for having aced an exam]

Dad: “You got your Visa”

Me: “Yay!” [A muffled ‘yay’ because I’m in the middle of the office and if I stand on my desk and do a jig, people may just accept – once and for all – that I’m ‘special’.]

And so that’s it – I got my Tourist Visa, so I can now legally visit Germany and try to make plans for my future! And, in fact, in exactly a month (to the day!!!!), I’ll be on a flying machine, heading to Deutschland!

 

Meeting family

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So yesterday I met one of GH’s sisters, who’s in Cape Town on business. I wasn’t too phased or nervous about the meeting, but as the time drew nearer to meeting her, I realised that she’s the first member of his family that I’ll be meeting in person. And then I started thinking, “Ok, so you need to make a good impression. No corny jokes or completely idiotic actions – such as tripping on something as small as a piece of paper and landing with your face in a potplant. No…you have to be normal, you have to control yourself…because this is the man you love and want to spend foreverererer with – so you need his family to like you, ok!”

Well, I’m happy to report that I didn’t tell any corny jokes and I didn’t trip over anything – so my face remained potplant free! It was lovely meeting his sister and it really seemed very natural – we slipped naturally into conversation and nothing was forced. I honestly felt as if I’d met her before and this was just us catching up again. Once more, this is a blessing, because I know how difficult it can be when you don’t get along with your boyfriend’s fan-damily.

And it was rather interesting – I mentioned to GH that he and his sister have the same mannerisms. He sounded a little surprised when I told him this, but it seems normal to me – siblings generally share some of the same traits. In fact, at times some of her mannerisms reminded me so much of GH that I had to wipe my eyes and make sure that it wasn’t actually him who was sitting opposite me. (How awesome would that have been!? 🙂 :()

Right, so that’s one member of the family…only 130 more to go! 😀

1 Ply toilet paper and shrimps

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Did you know that humans forget about 90% of their dreams…and when we think, we use about 35% of our brains. Also, apparently, the percentage of people who dream in black and white started becoming less after the spread of colour televisions. Yip, indeed. Did you know that in South Africa it is a law that single ply toilet paper has to have 500 sheets in a roll? And lastly, a shrimp’s heart is in its head.

Well now you know – and you’re a better person for it 😀

So if a shrimp’s heart is in its head and it needs to make a decision based on either the heart or the head…what does it do – does this present a dilemma for the shrimp? Perhaps we’d all be better off as shrimps then – and it would be a case of “Follow your heart that’s in your head”, as opposed to constantly having to wonder ‘which one to follow’ (although we all know the answer to that…follow your….heart).

This past weekend was enjoyable. After a rather long and tedious week at work, my mood lifted a little on Friday night when I practiced some German – (yip, I’m learning German in my spare time…a girl always has to be prepared!) – and I realised that I really am getting good and I’m learning (and remembering) things all the time. In fact, I recalled over 60 words and their articles from memory. Now, for anyone who knows a little about the German language, you’ll know that recalling words and their particular male, female or neuter article is amazing. Well done to me! 🙂

My mood lifted to even greater proportions as I thought about chatting to GH in the evening – any time spent with him – whether virtual or not – is so precious. After chatting to him, I got to bed at a reasonably good hour (around 2am) and woke up as late as possible on Saturday morning. And even though my Saturday morning was a little tainted due to an unfortunate Lumpy Milk incident, I was still eager to take on the day with zest – and this zest translated into house cleaning. Yes, so what, I clean when I’m happy…

Then it was off to the parentals for supper on Saturday evening. I’m loving the time that I get to spend with them – I’ve not lived with my parents for 9 years, and every time I go to their house for supper or a simple visit, it really feels like nothing has changed – it’s still home.

Sunday morning started as late as possible as well, and there was no lumpy milk incident *hooray* and Sunday evening was phenomenal. The service at Hillsong Cape Town was awesome and the message was delivered in such a powerful way – it spoke straight to me and I was absolutely blessed! God’s doing some awesome work in my life, for which I’m very grateful.

And the perfect end to my weekend was a deeeeeelicious supper chatting and laughing with GH before heading off to Dreamland. It’s so amazing to finally be with the person who was made just for me! 😀

Lumpy milk

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I can’t remember when last I slept in on a Saturday morning – it feels like forever – but I managed to do it today. For some reason I woke up dazed and confused at 6.50am and realised it’s Saturday, so proceeded to turn around and go back to sleep. 3 hours later I surfaced again and just lay in bed contemplating whether or not I had the desire to remove the comfy duvet and head downstairs to make some breakfast. I was about to tell myself it wasn’t worth it until the thought of a nice cup of coffee came to mind – I was up and out of bed within 10 seconds.

I switched the tv on as I walked past it – eyes half closed (or is that half open?) – and switched on the kettle – it was all one smooth motion actually. I reached for my favourite mug, got the milk out of the fridge and at this point my mood was lifting – just the thought of my first cup of coffee was exciting me. What happened next was so disappointing 😦 The milk I poured into the mug wasn’t nice, white, creamy milk – no – it was disgusting, white, lumpy milk 😦 Sorry, do I hear you say “eeeeuuuuuw” – yes, I do, because it is eeeeuuuuuw…and disappointing. It’s like baking a cake, salivating for an entire hour while you wait for it to reach perfection in the oven, and having it flop right in front of you when you take it out. Blegh!

I contemplated heading back upstairs and seeking the solace of my bed – but then I reckoned, “I’m up anyway…” so decided instead to go to the shop around the corner to get some *fresh* milk. So I had my morning cuppa, and it was good – and I’ve just finished off my second one.

I spoke to GH earlier and he seems to think there’s no problem with lumpy milk *yuck*! Yeah it’s true – as much as what we’re perfect for one another, we definitely have our differences! 🙂

18/02/2011 – Cape Town Snapshot

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Greenpoint Stadium

Cape Town has been a hive of excitement today as the (awesome) band U2 gets ready for their concert at Greenpoint Stadium this evening. The crowd tonight will consist of 73,000 fans – yes, 73,000! Needless to say, the city has closed off certain roads and public viewing points and I can just imagine what town centre must look like right now.

To those attending the concert – 😛 to you, ok! And enjoy….!