Bittersweet

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GH came to Cape Town this past week as part of a Birthday surprise for me – and it was wonderful having him here! He got to be part of my life, see my world, and take part in the little things that make up my day. And of course, he got to meet The Parents! And they love him and he loves them – he just literally slipped into the family with ease. It’s so wonderful for me to see that the person I’m in love with gets on so well with my folks, and especially (for a daughter) – to have the man in her life get on so well with her father! Also, though very briefly, he got to meet some friends of mine who are literally my second family and that was special too – it’s such a wonderful feeling to see people in my life actually meet GH.

It was just a week’s visit though, so there really wasn’t time to meet everyone and doing everything we wanted to. 😦 But the time we had together was very special and I cherish it so completely! But, as the title of this post suggests, it’s a bittersweet situation – because each day that we were together was just one more day closer to having to say good-bye at the airport and I wasn’t looking forward to that. I realised though that I need to work on ‘living in the moment’ – this seems to be very difficult for me. One last hug and kiss and that was it – he turned the corner and was gone and I found myself walking aimlessly through the airport, not being able to even see where I was going because the tears were in my way. Even now, whilst writing this, I get teary – argh, emotions, who needs them!?!?!?!?

But I have to put things into perspective, right? Though, you have to forgive me for ripping things out of perspective now and then, because I’m just a little sad….but, if I were to kick myself up the arse and just think, then I’d realise that I’m flying to Germany in 7 weeks’ time, and I’ll see him then.

And that gives me comfort – but the comfort’s not as long-lasting as I’d like. Yeah sure, I get to see him in 7 weeks’ time, but in 7 weeks’ time I’ll be in a country that doesn’t make it easy for foreigners to emmigrate – and I’ll be completely at the mercy of God – I’ll need His favour to make a way for me as I step out in faith – so that when I get there, there will be a job lined up and I will, finally, be able to start the next phase of my life that I’ve been praying for, for so long!

This is my lesson it seems – believing, trusting, having faith that in the end, things will work out. Right….?

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3 responses »

  1. I was thinking about you yesterday and wondered if all was OK since you’d not posted in a week. But now I know why!

    I’m glad you had a good visit! And 7 weeks will go by in a flash!!

  2. You’re right – kick yourself up your arse – because things will work out!!! You’ve come this far and fear of the unknown is natural….just keep on in FAITH!!

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