I got off the train and stepped out into the fresh sea air that’s surrounding Cape Town this morning. There’s something so refreshing about that smell – something comforting. As I started walking towards work, placing one foot in front of the other, I thought about how things have fallen into place for me over the past 27 years – how, by putting one foot in front of the other, life has continued and progressed to where it is now.
One thought stuck with me for some time – I was thinking about all the times that I convinced myself that something was good for me, when in fact, it wasn’t. “This is it…”, “This is what I’ve been waiting for…”, and “This is what I’m meant to have…” The difference between Carmen now and Carmen then is that now I’ve allowed myself to be led by God – so that now I can receive what He says “is it…”, “is what you’ve been waiting for”, and “is what you’re meant to have.” And more than that – this time, it’s more about what He wants for me and has planned for me…it’s no longer about me trying to force my way through life based on my own plans.
The liberating thing about all of this is knowing that this time I’m receiving the best possible options, opportunities, circumstances, etc. Why – because I’m letting God lead me.
I still stumble though – there are days when I trip and land with my face in the mud – dirtied, bruised and ashamed. But I get back up, dust myself off, and continue walking forward.
As I walked along Cape Town’s streets this morning, my heart was thankful – perhaps a little burdened by some of the weigh it’s carrying – but thankful nonetheless. And as I looked at my reflection in a passing shopfront, I caught a glimpse of the person I’ve become and the person I want to be, and the only reaction that seemed befitting was to smile.
No-one ever promised life was going to be easy – but it sure makes for one hell of a ride!
Joshua 23:9-10 – For the Lord your God fights for you, just as He has promised. So love the Lord your God.