Maintaining Insanity

Standard

I’m all for maintaining a healthy level of insanity – it’s a requirement…a basic human need. In fact, it should’ve been at the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Follow some (or all) of these steps and you’re sure to have a fab day!

  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  • Page yourself over the intercom and don’t disguise your voice.
  • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
  • Put Decaf in the coffee machine for 3 weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
  • Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  • Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  • Sing along at the Opera.
  • 5 days in advance tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.
  • When your money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
  • When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives! They’re loose!!”
  • Tell your children over dinner: “Due to the economy we’re going to have to let one of you go.”

 

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