One lesson I learnt a long time ago was that people will always disappoint you – so I get a little annoyed with myself when it happens, and I’m surprised because it really shouldn’t surprise me at all. But not only will people always disappoint you, it’s the ones you open your heart up to who will hurt you the most.
Again – this is something that, intellectually I know, but realistically it still comes as a shock when it happens. The world these days is so full of ‘he said, she said,’ finding someone else to blame, seeking fault with someone or something else – why – because ‘surely I cannot be the problem!?’ Most times though, a thorough soul-search will shed a lot of light and you’ll realise that perhaps there really is no-one else to blame, and although everyone has a million faults that you can find, the truth is…so do you.
So many misunderstandings abound, purely because no-one has the courage to switch the spotlight on in their own lives. I think this is something that’s happened in my life recently – though I’m not 100% sure what exactly the issue is with the person concerned, it’s pretty obvious that there’s some sort of misunderstanding which can probably be explained within 2 minutes. But I don’t think it will ever be explained and all I can do is accept things the way they are – not because I don’t care enough to sort them out – but because I’m a little hurt and I don’t have the physical or emotional energy (2 days before I leave for Berlin!) to be dragged through the mud.
How would I have preferred this whole sticky situation to be handled – hmmmm, I guess I’d have thought I’m approachable enough and that the other person’s mature enough to come to me and be open about what’s bothering them; I’d have liked to know that our friendship and love for one another overcomes any ridiculous misunderstanding; I’d have liked to know that our belief system comes into play and that we base our ‘resolution’ of the situation on that belief system.
It’s disappointing; it’s sad; it’s unnecessary; it’s hurtful. It’s really not the way things are supposed to be.