Wall-hitting

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Why does it always surprise me when God’s good to me – when He comes through for me (as He always does)? Why do I stand in amazement and think, “Wow, You just did that for me?!” Why, after He’s just blessed me, do I let my mind wonder what bad thing’s lurking around the corner, out of sight of this blessing? Nothing’s out of God’s sight and all I do by thinking this way is miss what He’s so freely giving me!

Yesterday I had a slight panic about something that I felt was completely out of my control. To an extent, it is out of my control, but things are never out of His control. This ‘obstacle’ lay before me like a ginormous mountain and I didn’t know how to tackle it – over, under, around, or through?! But then, the answers started coming, and by this morning it was a thing of the past – done and dusted – a solution found – a way forward. How could I ever have doubted Him and His grace and mercy for me? How could I ever have doubted that He loves me so much that He has a plan…

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

This verse has come up over and over and over again in the last year. Sometimes through the radio, through a random verse I read on a piece of paper, through a devotional, through an e-mail, through someone just saying it, on a random, blank page in a notebook….! It’s clear – very clear – that this is God’s message for me at the moment.

Yet still I remain defiant at times, struggling with things and trying to make them work out by using my own strength – which is no strength compared to His. And I still get the same results – hitting my head against some very hard walls. But slowly, I’m realising that wall-hitting is not part of the life God wants for me, and as much as possible, He’ll try to help me avoid it. But just like a little kid needs to learn some lessons the hard way, so do I. It’s wonderful though to know that besides what my emotions, thoughts or feelings are telling me, He’s still got a plan and He still loves me.

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