It really seems that so much of my move to Berlin has been bittersweet – don’t you just love it when life throws oxymorons your way?!

I was on a complete high when I landed a week ago, but as I’ve started to come down from my high, reality has set in and it’s sometimes made me wobbly. I think…stupidly…in my mind I thought I’d arrive here and everything would be awesome. But you’d think that at the age of 28, I’d kind of know that life doesn’t always work that way – especially when you have a few OCD tendencies sprinkled with anxiety.

The reality is that I’m really missing my parents and my friends. Another oxymoron I had to deal with back in South Africa is that I prayed and prayed and prayed for friends for so long, and only within the last few months of me living there, did I get them – go figure.

I think everyone would tell me that it will take a while to adjust to a new country (and on top of that I still have to get through a wedding and all its stress and logistics), but part of me is a little disappointed…in myself. I kind of think I’m supposed to somehow be ‘stronger’ and ‘better’ at all of this.

What I’m hoping will happen though is that in a few weeks’ time (or months?), I’ll be a little more of well-adjusted Carmen and a little less of freaking-out Carmen.



6 responses »

  1. Well if you’re getting married in SA, let me know what email addy I can send the link to for all the wedding info I gathered (venues and prices) and you can just contact them for updated pricing 🙂

    • Heya! Thanks for the comment – I just write what seems to be floating in my mind. A big move is scary, but way worth it. Good luck to you and I look forward to reading your blog too! 🙂

  2. Not to scare you, but the life of an expat is filled with ups and downs! Even after you think you’ve settled in, you’ll find waves of ‘homesickness’ hit you from out of the blue.

    It’s normal to miss your family and friends back home–and certain foods and other cultural bits of your life there. To make it easier, I’d suggest using Skype and FB to stay in touch, but I’d also recommend finding a good supply of home comforts (either an import store or family sending fave candies and sweets from home).

    Another thing that helps is to try and ‘live local’ as much as possible. By that I mean live the life of a German person. Try to incorporate as much of the new culture into your daily life instead of always searching for stuff from ‘home’. The most miserable expats I know are the ones who always think everything was better ‘back home’ and that everything in their new land sucks. It’s a dangerous territory!

    That said, I think you’ve got a great attitude and I know you’ll settle in. Keep your chin up and allow yourself a period of adjustment. It’s normal!

    Welcome home!

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