Tag Archives: Hillsong

Out of the blue

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So I was retrenched in December 2011. It was a shocker, yes. It’s one of those things you never see coming, and then *BAM*, it hits you square in the face. I’ve had a little difficulty finding something temporary to bring in some cash while I sit and wait here in South Africa for my documents from Home Affairs (the docs that will allow me to apply for my German Visa!) Once people realise I’m not here to stay, they’re not interested – and those who do offer me anything, offer way too little – not enough to even cover my petrol costs.

This whole situation was making me a little edgy and I fell into the trap of lifting my hands up in anger, shouting…”WHY Lord?!” (I still do that sometimes…)

I decided about a week ago however that I’d just make good use of my time and volunteer at my church. It’s a decision I’ve not regretted and though I still sometimes worry a little about my financial provision for the next few months, I’m happy to be rooted in a place that makes me feel secure, and feeds me spiritually. My days are filled doing all sorts of things – from setting out thousands of communion cups, to inputting information on the church database – whilst at the same time, enjoying Hillsong’s well-known worship songs as they waft gently from the speakers, filling the entire building with magical melodies. I’m also meeting wonderful people, and there’s just nothing that could be better than that!

This morning, whilst clasping a cup of hot coffee in my hands and driving through the beautiful suburb I live in, I heard something on the radio which grabbed my heart, so I thought I’d share it:

“Lifes Lessons” by Paul M. Connors, an Inmate in Texas

I learn, as the years roll onward
And leave the past behind,
That much I had counted sorrow
But proves that God is kind;
That many a flower I had longed for
Had hidden a thorn of pain,
And many a rugged bypath
Led to fields of ripened grain.
The clouds that cover the sunshine
They can not banish the sun;
And the earth shines out the brighter
When the weary rain is done.
We must stand in the deepest shadow
To see the clearest light;
And often through wrong’s own darkness
Comes the very strength of light.
The sweetest rest is at even,
After a wearisome day,
When the heavy burden of labor
Has borne from our hearts away;
And those who have never known sorrow
Can not know the infinite peace
That falls on the troubled spirit
When it sees at last release.
 We must live through the dreary winter
If we would value the spring;
And the woods must be cold and silent
Before the robins sing.
The flowers must be buried in darkness
Before they can bud and bloom,
And the sweetest, warmest sunshine
Comes after the storm and gloom.

– Risk –

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I was lucky enough to hear Pastor Paul Scanlon preach at Hillsong this past Sunday – he definitely has a way of stirring people in their seats as they listen intently to the message he delivers – a simple message really: basically, take some risks!

So there we go, another sermon that’s so applicable to my situation – so hard hitting – hitting me right between the eyes…more than once.

Essentially there’s not enough risk in the world – people move forward until they reach their ‘comfortable’ point and then they turn around and head back  in the opposite direction – the ‘safe’ direction. So they don’t progress, but rather, just remain rooted in one position. But how can we know it’s really that safe if we haven’t actually moved beyond that point to have a look at what’s on the other side?

I’ve been living a safe life up until now – constantly reaching the point of change but choosing (both consciously and subconsciously) to turn around and head back to what I know, what I’m familiar with – my safe haven. But not anymore – falling in love with GH pushed me beyond the point I normally avoid; it gave me the dertermination and courage to peek over the wall and attempt to see what could possibly be waiting for me on the other side. Did I see anything? – No. So do I know what’s on the other side? – No. Do I want to turn around and head back to my safe haven? – No. If I don’t push forward, I’ll be making what I believe to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life – even if things don’t work out the way I’d like them to, at least I’ll know I took a stand for my own life and embraced Risk.

“You can’t discover new oceans unless you have the courage to leave the shore.”

This is the only shore I’ve ever known – it’s familiar; it’s day in and day out; it’s year in and year out – and it could easily become the rest of my life – playing it safe, keeping it in the box, treading lightly – but I’m choosing to live differently; choosing to jump out of the plane with a parachute, not knowing whether or not it will work.

It’s taken 27 years to reach this point; to muster up the courage; to realise and accept that even if things don’t work out, it’s still Ok; and God brought this revelation to me in the most beautiful form possible – Love.

Monday morning

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I’m sitting at my desk drinking my first cup of coffee and wondering why on earth I’m up and already type-type-typing away at my computer. How nice it would be to be in the loving embrace of my duvet right now – in Dreamland, somewhere between an island off the African coast and sipping coffee along the French Riviera.

But I’m at my desk – which does not resemble the French Riviera – and I’m sipping coffee that ‘s great, but probably could be better.

I think this past weekend was a good weekend – for many reasons…:

  • It was my dad’s 66th birthday on Saturday and my mother, my dad and I celebrated it by consuming 1kg of (yummy) prawns (each..).

  • Worship at Hillsong was phenomenal and so was the sermon – all about God’s vision for your life and how you shouldn’t give up on it when that nagging voice in the back of your mind tells you, “You can’t do it.” (My response to the nagging voice, “Whatever…I can, so shut up.”)

  • I spent almost 3 hours practicing German on Saturday and was very pleased with my progress – and I’m really enjoying it, which takes the pressure off it a bit. (It’s not always good to be a perfectionist…) Yes, granted, it may seem a little funny because I don’t really have anyone to practice with – so I have to walk around the house speaking the language to the fridge, microwave or anything else that will listen to me.

  • I got to spend time with my parents – it’s been lovely being able to chill with them, talk with them, laugh with them.

  • I got to speak to GH a couple of times and we shared a few laughs. This is always a highlight for me. Why? Because long distance SUCKETH! This morning he surprised me by sending me a text message at 6.30am – just to say he loves me and misses me. Now I’m sure you’re thinking…ok that’s nice, whatever. But the thing is, GH loves his sleep and 6.30am in South Africa is 5.30am in Germany – so for someone who loves his sleep and wakes up at 5.30am…and then text’s his girlfriend – it’s an ‘Awwwwww’ kinda thing! 🙂