It’s been a topsey turvey weekend – my emotions have gone from sky high to rock bottom. Why? I don’t know – it’s probably a combination of a lot of things – but I think it’s mostly my (silly) fear of the future and the unknown; and I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself in certain regards that I think I’m buckling a little. I need to practice wisdom in this situation – and honestly give things over – just let it go. But I cling on for some reason – I’m not too sure why. Perhaps because that’s all I’m used to: constantly trying to be in control and have things in my hands, moulding it the way I know best to. No-one said going through the process of learning new life lessons was easy.
I missed GH yesterday and I couldn’t wait to talk to him – when I eventually did, I was already so emotionally exhausted from the day that I didn’t make for entertaining conversation – I even got bored and annoyed with myself. He tried to make me laugh, and he succeeded, but there were moments that I couldn’t even muster up the energy to laugh – though inside I was giggling 🙂
My day started pretty early yesterday – I attended Hillsong’s 11:15am service and then headed to my parents’ house. I discussed my financial situation with them – obviously going overseas and taking this big step has meant I’ve had to make some tough decisions that lead to a few financial setbacks – but ultimately, I’ll be ok. It’s still a concern though – not having the financial security I’ve become accustomed to for the past 6 years.
Then, whilst digging around in some documents, I found R250 stuffed in a little book that I never use…I just happened to open it. Score! It’s always a great feeling when you find cash at a moment that you least expect it, but really need it. But the blessings didn’t stop there. I got home from my parents’ place and decided to nap a bit…afterwards I stared at the washing for a while and then decided that it wasn’t going to hang itself…so I lugged it all outside and as I started to hang some items up, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. And there it lay…R100, stuck in a random trellis I have in my back courtyard. The wind at the back is so strong that sometimes my washing doesn’t make it out alive…and here was this flimsy R100 paper note…strategically placed and ready for me to find. I picked it up and started crying a little because I knew it was another blessing and, honestly, a sign. Things are going to be ok.
Things are going to be ok.