Daily Archives: January 17, 2011

Down, but not out


My mood’s been a little ‘undesirable’ lately, but I think it’s because of a combination of PMS and lack of sleep.

Yesterday I hit a major low, but I was (thankfully) on a mini roadtrip with my father. As if my downer wasn’t enough, I then had to be part of telling someone that his father had passed away – which was a first for me – and I witnessed the pain, sorrow and initial shock that this kind of news causes – to make matters worse, the person we had to break the news to is mentally handicapped. Needless to say – yesterday I spent a large part of the day in tears – and stressing far too much about my attempt to move to Berlin. All my insecurities seemed to eat away at me like parasites – ‘What if I don’t get a job,’ ‘What will any potential interviews be like,’ ‘What if I run out of money,’ etc…

But on the way back home, my father and I stopped at a farmstall and shared a special father-daughter moment. And I chose that moment to reach out to him and ask for his advice – I opened up about my insecurites and literally felt like a scared little girl seeking the comfort of her father’s strong arms – just wanting his confirmation that all will be ok. And that’s exactly what I got. Love. Confirmation. Renewed hope. And it made me realise, again, how very blessed I am to have the best parents in the world – they’re just so amazing.

And today….today I’m on my knees, thanking my Heavenly Father for his constant provision. I managed to get a good deal on a flight in March – almost R2,000 less than I’d budgeted for. Praise the Lord!

And in my mind, the words to a song are constantly playing today:

Big – Planetshakers

My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God’s plan for me
Goes beyond my wildest dream
My God is good
He’s so good to me

He’s my God and
He is my refuge
He’s the rock on which i stand
He’s my fortress
God he is my life
He holds the oceans in his hand

My God is big
So strong so mighty
My God is good
He’s so good to me

There’s nothing my God cannot do